On European Greetings

One thing I still haven't gotten used to is the European habit of greeting one's friends with a kiss on the cheek. It's not that I mind it per se. No, I'm not quite that repressed, only enough to become incredibly awkward when I'm the one being kissed on the cheek. See, my problem comes not from the kiss itself-- I am never going to argue with a tradition that occasionally gets me kisses on the cheek from cute boys-- but in that I never know how to react. Half the time it's not expected, so I panic and freeze up and therefore don't return the kiss. Then I worry that I've somehow slighted them. When it is expected (e.g. if someone arrives and kisses all members of the group hello in turn), then I spend the time waiting for my kiss in ever-increasing anxiety. What if I accidentally move and cause them to miss? They could end up with my ear (awkward) or my mouth (possibly even more embarrassing) or even my eye (which would likely be painful). Also, I'm expected to return it, and what if I miss? I've not had enough practice to really do it well. If I get air, but they hit cheek, it's suddenly unequal-- is that a jilt? And so on. By the time the greeting itself approaches, I'm so tense and nervous that I'm certain the other person will think that I don't like them, or that I'm such a puritanical American that I can't deal with cultured greetings. (Which might slightly be the case, at least subconsciously.) All in all, I'm worried that they'll think that for whatever reason I don't want them to kiss me on the cheek (which will decrease the chance of more smooches, including from the aforementioned attractive males). In actuality, however, it's just that I'm incredibly awkward (which to be fair, also tends to decrease the chance of smooches from attractive males, although it doesn't usually affect the platonic sort that I'm talking about).

(P.S. Sorry I've been so bad about keeping to my one-post-a-week goal. I do have several half-written, so I'll try and finish them and get them up in quick succession.)